Monday, November 22, 2010

Home for the Holiday...

It is good to be home. Home in the sense that this will always, no matter where I am in the world, feel like home to me. My heart is torn in this--truly. How do I reconcile within myself this strong desire to be here with family, and old friends, and yet have the knowledge that Jesus has lead us and has us where we are for his purposes for the present time. This can be a hard reality for me at times. I will be honest about that. 

At times it is even a great battle within me. I feel, at times, that I have been bamboozled by Jesus. But, then I remember something that gives me comfort. Jesus. Yes, Jesus. I am sure that he felt "at home" and happy to be in heaven, in the presence of "family and friends." I believe, in as little as I am able to understand, that I have an idea of what a great sacrifice that this truly was for him. Jesus gave up everything to come here, to us, to this place, this dung heap of a fallen world, by far not his ideal I am sure, not his home, for us, because of his love, so we might have even the chance to be made right with him. This is a truth that is, for me, hard to bare. Not only did he do this for us--for me--he did it with joy. In Philippians Paul writes that he did not do this begrudgingly, he did it with joy! This amazes me!

I pray that my heart would be as his. I pray that my selfishness and self-absorbedness would be defeated as I let the reality of what Jesus did and what he sacrificed for me sink in to my soul. Jesus, thank you. Thank you!

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